Dogs don't shop.
Dogs don't cry.
Dogs love it when your friends come over.
Dogs think you sing great.
A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.
Dogs don't expect you to call when you are running late.
The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you.
Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.
Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.
A dog's disposition stays the same all month long.
Dogs never need to examine the relationship.
A dog's parents never visit.
Dogs understand that instinct is better than asking for directions.
Dogs don't hate their bodies.
It's legal to keep a dog chained up at your house.
Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you ever had.
Dogs like to do their snooping outside as opposed to in your wallet,
desk, and the back of your sock drawer.
Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.
Dogs don't borrow your shirts.
Dogs never lobby for foot-rubs.
Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.
Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.
HOW DOGS AND WOMEN ARE ALIKE
Both usually look stupid in hats.
Both tend to have problems with their hips.
Both look good in fur.
Neither realizes that silence is golden.
Both constantly want back rubs.
You can never tell what either of them is thinking.
They both overvalue kissing.
HOW WOMEN ARE BETTER THAN DOGS
It is socially acceptable to have sexual relations with a woman.